Your Dog Sleeps in Your Bed? You Don’t Have to Apologize.

You don’t have to apologize to me — I promise.

Not for your dog jumping on me.

Not for admitting they aren’t crate trained.

Not for snuggling them on the couch or comforting them when they’re upset.

Not. For. Anything.

As a trainer, I’ll often ask questions like, “Where does your dog sleep?” or “Where do they stay when you’re not home?” — not to judge, but to get a fuller picture of your dog’s routine, preferences, and overall lifestyle. It helps shape a training plan that actually fits your home and your dog. Are they crated during the workday or free in the house? Do they chew the coffee table legs or nap peacefully until you return? Are they curled up in their own bed at night or snuggled in yours watching a movie?

I love hearing these details. Tell me everything — your dog’s hobbies, favorite sleep positions, whether they insist on being the little spoon. I want to know it all.

But I’ve noticed something that happens almost every time:

A sheepish smile. A quick glance away.

A quiet, “He sleeps in my bed…”

Or a whispered, “I don’t own a crate.”

I know where this comes from.

There’s a long-standing (and totally unproven) school of thought that says dogs should sleep in crates. That letting them on the bed will “confuse the power dynamic.” That they should “earn” couch privileges. That you need to assert control or they’ll think they run the house.

To that, I say: absolutely not.

There’s no evidence to back this up. It’s outdated and, frankly, unfair.

Now—are there exceptions? Sure! One of my own dogs has a tendency to guard the couch, so I manage that carefully. If the cats are out and about, he snuggles in his cozy bed by my feet instead. That’s what works in my home. Your setup might look totally different — and that’s okay. The goal isn’t one-size-fits-all; it’s thoughtful, safe, and realistic.

I love hearing how much you love your dog.

That they burrow under your covers at night.

That they wake you up with sloppy kisses demanding breakfast NOW, MOM.

That they’re your couch buddy, movie date, and favorite nap partner.

Life is short. And our time with our dogs? Even shorter.

Unless there’s a safety concern — like resource guarding around the couch or bed, or risk to kids or other animals — you’re not doing anything wrong. You’re enjoying your dog. You’re making them feel secure, connected, and loved.

And if your dog wants to snuggle you?

Snuggle back. Certified trainer approved. 🐾

Arma, a friends dog who loves a good cuddle in bed.

Little Oakley hanging with me in the morning at another friends house!